Donโ€™t look back in anger


is to a close, so I wanted to hit you with one final newsletter before chaos of 2025 kicks off.

It’s that time of year where our brains will almost automatically look back on past year.

What went right, what went wrong.

What we accomplished, what we failed to follow through on.

If you’re anything like me, it’s easy to overindex on the โ€œwhat went wrongโ€ part, and feel all sorts of negative emotions around those things.

We might look back with guilt at something we did or didn’t do. As I mentioned in an earlier newsletter, I’m somebody who has โ€‹the most amount of โ€œCatholic guiltโ€โ€‹ even though I’m not religious.

I stumbled across a story a few months back that I’m still thinking about. Allegedly, there’s no word in the Tibetan language that directly translates to โ€œguilt.โ€ The closest possible translation is something closer to โ€œintelligent regret.โ€

I don’t speak Tibetan and I haven’t been able to track down a Tibetan speaker to confirm this, but I think it’s a beautiful sentiment that can help us as we move into 2025.

Guilt can be corrosive and unproductive. But as Dan Pink points out in his book โ€‹The Power of Regretโ€‹, looking backward with the right kind of regret about things that happened or didn’t happen can actually be powerful and transformative for our future selves.

So, rather than trying to live a life of โ€œno ragretsโ€ (the opposite of intelligence)โ€ฆ

We can apply regret intelligently to how 2024 went.

So, in honor of the band Oasis reuniting for the coming year, โ€‹don’t look back in angerโ€‹ (still an all-time jam, by the way).

Insteadโ€ฆlet’s look back with curiosity.

Look back with curiosity, not judgment.

Take some time today, and look back on your year with โ€‹curiosity, not judgmentโ€‹.

Did you accomplish the things they wanted to accomplish? Great! I bet you learned something.

Did your life go off the rails and you spent most of the year just trying to stay afloat! Great! I bet you learned something! Did you start and stop and bail on a goal repeatedly? Great! I bet you learned something!

Write these things down. Notice the emotions you feel as you look back. Write down what you learned, and how that can inform future decisions or choices you make.

Maybe you learned that you hate running, or that going Keto was an absolute failure, or that becoming a first-time parent really messed with your life entirely, or that we can’t stick to a morning routine.

These are all things that happened. Now, we must decide what sort of emotion to apply to those things.

Remember, โ€‹the past isn’t set in stoneโ€‹, and some of these setbacks or failures might be the very lesson you needed to learn for Future You. They might be the catalyst for your next step forward.

Remember, it’s NOT โ€œI screwed up/failed, therefore I’m a causeโ€ฆโ€

It’s, โ€œI screwed up/failed, and learned this lesson I can apply towards 2025.โ€

How will 2025 be different?

Next week, we’ll be kicking off our โ€‹free 5-day challengeโ€‹ with coach Matt from Team NF.

If 2024 didn’t turn out the way you wanted or hoped, I’m sorry.

Life is weird and change is hard.

Let’s make 2025 different! After all, if you do what you’ve always done, you’ll get what you’ve always got.

If you want things to be different, let’s make that happen.

The Nerd Fitness Rebellion will be with you all the way.

Have a great holiday, and I’ll talk to you next week.

-Steve

PS: Here’s that โ€‹sign-up one more time for our free 5-day challengeโ€‹. Cheers!



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